best preacher that ever was,
dear star, that just happens
to be where you are in the universe
to keep us from ever-darkness,
to ease us with warm touching,
to hold us in the great hands of light–
good morning, good morning, good morning.
~Mary Oliver, Why I Wake Early
One thing about me: I’m gonna go to bed early. Like, ridiculously early, according to most. 7 PM is perfect during the winter. I’ll go crazy in the summer and stay up until nine like some feral animal, but my true social battery bedtime is 7 PM. That means I’m not actually going to sleep at seven, but I’m done with peopling for the day. No talking, no texting, no scrolling, no TV, no music. I crawl under the covers to read, stretch, journal, or just dream before turning off the light.
If I fall asleep by nine, I usually wake naturally between 4:30 and five. Early morning is a secret most don’t know; waking at a leisurely pace is the best part of any day.
My friend, whose mother is Lebanese, told me this is called soubhiyé (pronounced sob hiy YEH) in her language. Soubhiyé is the magical time of silence and solitude when you might be the only person in existence, a liminal space between dreaming and waking, the rest of the house still aslumber.
Soubhiyé is an art. A time to gaze outside at the bowl of stars, savor the scald and smell of a good cup of coffee in your favorite mug. If it’s raining or snowing, turn on the porch light and watch the cosmic glitter fall. A train in the distance makes me wonder where it’s going and what it’s carrying there. I might meditate, stretch, or journal. Sometimes I pull tarot or read poetry or start the NYT Spelling Bee. Mostly I just exist, snuggling my cat Monster (in my experience, cats are far better soubhiyé partners than dogs). On the best days of all, soubhiyé lasts for several hours.
In our productivity-obsessed hustle culture, we’re told we should follow a morning routine, a starting gun to that overwrought nervous system state in which we exist too often. I know a gal that is currently in the middle of a #75Hard challenge, a “mental toughness” program. Her productivity-enhancing morning routine includes setting the alarm early, stepping on a scale, filling her giant Yeti bottle (she drinks a gallon of water a day), eating a high-protein bar, then running on the treadmill while she listens to a personal development-focused audiobook or podcast at 1.5 speed so she can, you know, get more motivated in less time. Her Instagram account swears it’s all about feeling my best, but everyone knows it’s just to stay thin.
Maybe she truly loves starting her day in this way, but I think it’s telling that one only has to do it for 75 days and she has a countdown on her social media page (62 days in! Only 13 to go!) What does day 76 look like?
I want to awaken early, but not to force myself into being better. My best me surfaces because my mornings are slow and savoring. It’s not about getting things done, but about getting grounded. There’s plenty of time for optimistic exuberance once I’m fully caffeinated and the sun has bled through the dawn. For now, in the darkened hush, let me just rouse slowly.
