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My Cat Thinks He is a God … And He Might Not Be Wrong

“In ancient times cats were wor­shipped as gods; they have not for­got­ten this.”
~Terry Pratchett 

I tried to pre­tend I didn’t hear the piti­ful meows com­ing from the drain­pipe under the front porch. I didn’t have the time, mon­ey, or patience to care for one more thing. I was doing well most days to keep the exist­ing hus­band, daugh­ter, busi­ness, dog, and cat alive. 

But when you live in the coun­try, you can­not let stray cats just hang about, as they become many stray cats in short order. When it comes to repro­duc­tion, cats are pro­lif­ic breed­ers. One female cat has the abil­i­ty to pro­duce an aver­age of about 12 kit­tens each year if not spayed. And female cats can repro­duce basi­cal­ly through­out their entire life, mean­ing they can have kit­tens for up to 15 years. For those of you keep­ing track, that means one female cat could pos­si­bly have 180 kit­tens in her lifetime.

I knew I had to trap and fix this cat. Plus, I’m a moth­er, bio­log­i­cal­ly designed to soothe and set­tle any cry­ing baby. I couldn’t ignore those pathet­ic whim­pers and mewl­ing sounds.

A few days lat­er, I noticed the humane trap I had set had a tiny ball of gray fur in it. I scooped up the trap – which he hadn’t even tripped, since he was so tiny – and brought the ras­cal indoors. 

That was six weeks ago. As I write this, that tiny ball of fur with mes­mer­iz­ing green eyes is sleep­ing on my feet, purring and occa­sion­al­ly bit­ing my toe. His name is Monster Riff and I belong to him completely. 

I have always loved cats. I love their inde­pen­dence, the way they car­ry them­selves with regal dig­ni­ty and com­plete indif­fer­ence to the human race. Cat Stevens, my fat tuxe­do, will occa­sion­al­ly deign to be pet­ted, but it’s strict­ly on her terms. 

But it has been over two decades since I’ve had a kit­ten and I’m besot­ted with Monster. For some­thing that only now weighs a few scant pounds, he is heavy with Buddha-like wisdom.

Monster is the epit­o­me of mind­ful­ness. Mindfulness – as humans under­stand it – means to exist in the present moment with curios­i­ty and con­tent­ment. While I have to active­ly work at it, mind­ful seems to be Monster’s nat­ur­al state.

In Monster’s world, there is no past or future. There is only the now, a moment-to-moment response to the calls of his ani­mal body. When he is hun­gry, he eats until he is no longer hun­gry. When he is thirsty, he drinks water or the occa­sion­al lap of spilled milk. When he is sleepy, he rests. He plays with his whole being and grooms care­ful­ly, attend­ing to every tiny nook and cran­ny he can reach (and, as the yoga mas­ter he is, there are no nooks or cran­nies too far out of his reach). Even when he is scared or angry, he feels through the emo­tion and moves on, no judg­ment, recrim­i­na­tion, or rehash­ing of the feeling. 

Everything is inter­est­ing to a kit­ten. Monster explores every cor­ner of his world with atten­tive curios­i­ty. From a strange noise to a dis­card­ed rub­ber band, his curios­i­ty keeps him enter­tained and engaged in every moment. We have prisms in our win­dows that throw refract­ed light across the floors every after­noon. He’ll catch sight of some danc­ing light on the floor and go into full saucer-eye mode like a Precious Moments fig­urine. Day after day he is entranced all over again by the same shaft of light. What a gift to see the old with fresh perspective.

Cats are a study in con­tent­ment. It takes very lit­tle to sat­is­fy Monster. While we have bought him all the best cat toys filled with cat­nip or cov­ered in feath­ers, he is just as con­tent with the rub­ber band from the news­pa­per or the plas­tic top from the milk jug. I find myself com­par­ing this to the human imper­a­tive to own the big­ger and bet­ter. Monster doesn’t care about an iphone upgrade or expen­sive din­ners out. He is thrilled by the pen­cil he found under the desk.

Cats can teach us so much about being a good human. It was a cos­mic wink that my fur­ry feline found my drain­pipe. And then my heart. 

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