The Gift of Time

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is giv­en to us.
J.R.R. Tolkien

For the past three months, I have found myself at a new stage of life: Retirement. It is begin­ning to feel real, but I still ask myself, “how did I get here?”

I can­not say that so far I have missed work­ing for a pay­check — even though I was for­tu­nate to have worked to try to make a dif­fer­ence in the world, even if just for one person. 

A series of cir­cum­stances and shift­ing pri­or­i­ties led me to con­clude that it was time to give it up. I want­ed to spend more time with fam­i­ly and friends and to be more avail­able for the com­mu­ni­ty groups with which I am involved. I want­ed more time to gar­den, read, spon­ta­neous­ly go to a movie or a day trip, or sim­ply do noth­ing at all. 

So, I became open to a new stage in my life, even though there are many life stages that I strug­gled to get through.

Now I see the gifts that came from those times.  A chal­leng­ing and lone­ly child­hood and ado­les­cence gave me the gifts of inde­pen­dence and self-reliance. My trou­bled young adult­hood gave me gifts of empa­thy, self-aware­ness, and a desire to help oth­ers. Then came hap­py years of mar­riage and moth­er­hood fol­lowed by a dif­fi­cult divorce.

Finally, a time of com­ing into my own and find­ing my place and pur­pose in my community.

Now comes retire­ment. I have not always felt deserv­ing of this time, but I am get­ting there.  I have enjoyed sleep­ing until I awak­en, wear­ing more com­fort­able clothes, spend­ing more time with my grand­son, and see­ing my infant great-nieces.  Then there is meet­ing friends for lunch, gro­cery shop­ping at times that are not busy, and an over­all drop in the lev­el of stress in my life. I have quick­ly learned that my time has been filled with ongo­ing and new per­son­al and com­mu­ni­ty commitments. 

But every­thing I do now is because I want to do it.  I remain full of pur­pose and am grate­ful for this time in my life.