Chuck has (more) questions!

A lot of things per­plex me.

If things real­ly do go in one ear and out the oth­er, does that mean that there’s a lit­tle bit­ty tun­nel con­nect­ing them?  And is the only rea­son we retain knowl­edge that the tun­nel gets clogged with ear wax?

Why do so many TV com­mer­cials include peo­ple danc­ing?  There’s even a dia­bet­ic med­ica­tion that now has its own dit­ty as well as a lot of peo­ple danc­ing.  I used to take dia­bet­ic med­ica­tions.  Believe me, not once while tak­ing those med­ica­tions did I feel like singing or – even less like­ly – get­ting up and dancing.

Does the uni­verse have an edge?  I mean, does it stop some­where, and if it does and the James Webb Space Telescope could see to the edge what would it see beyond the edge?

And while we’re spec­u­lat­ing about things spa­tial, if, as sci­en­tists spec­u­late (spec­u­late used in the sense of uti­liz­ing the best avail­able cur­rent evi­dence) that the uni­verse was cre­at­ed from a sin­gle com­pressed speck the size of a pin­head, what was hold­ing it in place?  And if the uni­verse is con­stant­ly expand­ing, will it ever stop and begin to com­press, and if it does, will we be squeezed to death?

Why do the guys coach­ing col­lege sports get paid so much more than the peo­ple teach­ing col­lege stu­dents English, History and Math?  I’ll leave it at that.

Why do we have five toes and fin­gers?  Wouldn’t four of each be just as use­ful, or why not six?  Well, I guess we don’t have six because our shoes would look real­ly fun­ny.  Of course, women com­press their five toes into shoes that seem to be designed more as defen­sive weapons than footwear.  Even if we only had four fin­gers — or more cor­rect­ly, three fin­gers and one thumb — one of the fin­gers would still have to be an index fin­ger because those are need­ed for nose-picking.

When so many of our recipe mea­sure­ments are even mul­ti­ples (two pints to a quart, four quarts to a gal­lon, six­teen ounces to a pound) why are there three tea­spoons to a table­spoon?  Couldn’t we just make tea­spoons small­er so there’d be four to a table­spoon, or make the table­spoon small­er so it would be two table­spoons?  And what about that non­sen­si­cal “pinch of salt”?  How the hell big is a pinch?  If my fin­gers are big­ger than yours, won’t my pinch be larg­er?  This could get so messy that you’d have to hire a spe­cial­ist with a reg­is­tered pinch size every time you brewed up some­thing requir­ing a “pinch of salt.”

When you throw some­thing “away,” define “away.”

What’s the dif­fer­ence between “far­ther” and “fur­ther”?  if you know the answer to this with­out look­ing it up, you prob­a­bly had a very good English teacher in school and you’re smarter than 99.875% of the populace.

Why do peo­ple build garages and then put so much “stuff” in them that they won’t hold a car?

When I die, I’m going to be cre­mat­ed.  I fig­ure it’s a good way to accli­mate to my final des­ti­na­tion.  And I’m going to ask that my ash­es be mixed with con­crete.  That way I know I’ll be around for a very long time, except that I’d prob­a­bly wind up in a side­walk with peo­ple walk­ing all over me for eternity.

People say that no two fin­ger­prints or snowflakes are exact­ly alike.  How do they know?  (Think about it.)

When we have Daylight Saving Time, where does it get saved to? Do we each get a share based on a per capi­ta dis­tri­b­u­tion or does it go into one big pot to be used all at once? If we saved enough of it, would we have twen­ty-four hours of sunlight?

The Government will nev­er come to con­fis­cate your guns.  Why?  It doesn’t have suf­fi­cient stor­age space for 400 mil­lion of them.

Is it just me or does it seem some­how strange­ly para­dox­i­cal to have TV com­mer­cials for online sports bet­ting which also have to have attached infor­ma­tion about deal­ing with gam­bling addiction?

And remem­ber, if you don’t know where you’re going, how do you know you aren’t already there?

I know many peo­ple out there have sim­i­lar per­plex­ing ques­tions.  If you have one and no answer, send it to me.  If I don’t know the answer, I’ll make some­thing up and since you don’t know the answer either, you won’t have a clue as to whether or not my answer is correct.